Posts Tagged ‘equilibrium’
Wednesday, December 4th, 2013
Holiday cheer? Holiday giving? Holiday spirit? I want those things mean to me the same as they would any other time of the year. I listed my “heart happy” goals yesterday, for the holiday and beyond, and rereading them now makes me smile. I’m actually thinking I should be reading them every morning. Every new day I don’t feel up for or ready to face or willing to tackle. Because it’s not about me, not entirely. Each day is about living and giving and sharing and belonging.
Opening your heart to the world around you…what better goal to have? There’s an entire philosophy behind our need to belong and how it drives the majority of conscience and subconscious behavior. Why do we do the things we do, why do we give up on the things we do, and why do we avoid those very things we know we need to face most? Fear and doubt, I say. We worry, and feel insignificant or powerless, and are too often on a self-fulfilling path of “I can’t make that work so why bother.”
“Don’t do that,” my daily list says. The list at the bottom of yesterday’s post that I’ll shake myself awake with each new morning now, because I want this holiday and this life and this chance I have to write and live well to mean something more than what I want (and am maybe a little afraid I can’t have) for myself.
What about other people? How can I be useful and meaningful to them?
That’s what I hope my writing’s about– (more…)
Tags: Anna DeStefano, Anna’s Hearts for Hearts, anna’s world, balance, Christmas, Christmas on Mimosa Lane, creativity & inspiration, equilibrium, Families, family, family drama, fighters, heroes, holiday, hope, inspiration, Love on Mimosa Lane, Mimosa Lane, Montlake Romance, poetry, promise, relationships, Seasons of the Heart Series, Three Days on Mimosa Lane, Women’s Fiction, writer, writer resource
Posted in Hearts for Hearts | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
Holidays are for hearts. Whatever we celebrate this time of year, images of families and loved ones and friends and memories surround us. The season lifts us up, makes us homesick, sometimes brings unwanted sadness. Our hearts are in play. Done deal. We’re feeling something more, something deeper, something real.
I often wonder why–you know, besides the obvious manipulation by the media and advertisers, wanting us to spend, Spend, SPEND so we can feel even better (or worse) as we long for more of whatever we want (or have lost) most. What’s behind those heart strings tugging at our thoughts and memories and imaginations?
We’re more open around the holidays, even the jaded among us. We engage with the world and people around us, because it’s all closer, it’s all bigger. How can we not be affected?
Our minds are on the every day of work and kids and obligations and worries. We plod onward with all we think we are. But we’re also conditioned to feel certain ways in November and December and early January. Whether we want to or not, we’re trained from infancy to fit into the holiday mold our families before us have spent generations crafting. But what do we truly want our hearts to feel and believe and desire this time of year?
In matters of the heart, what’s habit and what’s intention? What makes us happy, and what are we doing because we’re told it should make us happy? If only we could tune in and find the magic of our own individual experience (as the world and the holidays experience and evolve and march onward around us), the hustle and bustle that distracts from more than this season would fade a bit…and we’d discover the holiday of oyr dreams.
That’s my plan this year, anyway. To be, in this moment, what my heart’s always wanted this time of year to be. To understand my hearts desire and see it come to life around me. To inspire, through my stories and my blogs and the other fun things coming soon that my publicist would smack me for talking about before its time (waving at Nancy Berland and her fabulous team while keeping mum’s the word for just a little longer), everyone I reach to long for the same.
Let’s say them out loud… (more…)
Tags: Anna DeStefano, anna’s world, balance, Christmas, Christmas on Mimosa Lane, creativity & inspiration, equilibrium, Families, family, family drama, fighters, Hearts for Hearts, heroes, holiday, hope, inspiration, Love on Mimosa Lane, Mimosa Lane, Montlake Romance, poetry, promise, relationships, Seasons of the Heart Series, Three Days on Mimosa Lane, Women’s Fiction, writer, writer resource
Posted in Hearts for Hearts | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, November 19th, 2013
“For unloved daughters and sons, the stress of the holidays sweeps in much more than the nuisance of crowded stores, piped-in joys, worries about money or pleasing everyone with the right gift…”
Currently writing about (and studying) grown foster kids who’ve aged out of the system. You know, in the midst of my charming, warm family novels. It might not come as a shock to you that holidays can be difficult for many in our country. But would it surprise you to know that they’re difficult for me? Maybe even for you sometimes, just a little more than you’ve let yourself think about?
If so
“For unloved daughters and sons, the stress of the holidays sweeps in much more than the nuisance of crowded stores, piped-in joys, worries about money or pleasing everyone with the right gift…”
I’m writing into a new story about (and studying) grown foster kids who’ve aged out of the system. You know, in the midst of my charming, warm family novels. I stumbled across this article from Psychology Today, among many others, in my research.
It might not come as a shock to you that holidays can be difficult for many in our country. But would it surprise you to know that they’re difficult for me? And maybe even for you sometimes, just a little more than you’ve let yourself deal with?
Yeah, it’s a cute baby. And we fight so hard to keep the holidays full of cheer, despite disappointments or unhappiness from our pasts. And that’s a good thing. We move forward, we heal, we become who’re we’re meant to be. There’s no one I know who thinks it’s a good idea to stagnate in the hurt of the past and let it define all that will ever come. But as cute as all the holiday hype is, and as much as we might want to dive into the celebration along with everyone else, sometimes there’s just too much bubbling up from deep inside to laugh or hug or work or jingle away.
“For many, it [holidays] will conjure up–almost as if fresh and hew–the pain, exclusion, and loss they felt in their families of origin,” the article says.
Yeah. That’s real stuff. Holiday stuff we don’t want to see but too often can’t dismiss. I’m determined to write an inspirational, hopeful, loving and celebratory Christmas novella for next November/December’s readers. But in it (because I’m me and I’m made up of all my experiences of family origin, and because I’m writing about characters with disconnection and abandonment and insecurity and fear as their own earliest memories), I’m also going to be tackling the reality that many of us face each year– that, “the holidays sometimes evoke a renewed sense of self-doubt about the decision made, along with a feeling of isolation. The weight of cultural disapproval may feel heavier at this time of year…” (more…)
Tags: Anna DeStefano, anna’s world, balance, Christmas, Christmas on Mimosa Lane, creativity & inspiration, equilibrium, Families, family, family drama, fighters, heroes, holiday, hope, inspiration, Love on Mimosa Lane, Mimosa Lane, Montlake Romance, poetry, promise, relationships, Seasons of the Heart Series, Three Days on Mimosa Lane, Women’s Fiction, writer, writer resource
Posted in Anna's Novels, Anna's Soul of the Matter | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
New beginnings aren’t just about action. In my case, there’s no real action yet. But I’m definitely beginning again. A new story in the works, a new release to plan for, a new PR team, a new season for my family as my son prepares to graduate from high school (whimper, sniffle, YAY!).
Before any challenge, and a new beginning is always a challenge, it’s the start that’s so scary, not the actual work to be done. It’s the watching and wondering and trying to subdue those pesky emotions and fears that sucks our momentum and energy away. I’m living that right now. I’m in-the-flesh proof that living never gets “easier,” no matter how much success you’ve had or how far you’ve come (in my case, raising a family and building a thriving publishing career and learning to write emotional novels that connect with readers and finding a publisher and agent and publicity team who believe in my vision maybe more than I can believe in myself yet).
But living isn’t about easy, I’ve learned.
You have, too, right?
To live, not just endure or survive or bide your time, is the goal. It’s the start of all that’s right in the world. Any world, whoever you are and wherever you call home. It’s never going away, the drive to live today. Just today. To make this moment count.
My mind numbs at the possibilities. The responsibilities. The choices and the weight of making them right. The possibilities and how few care what I want them to be, or how I need them to pan out.
Letting go. As you wait and wonder and listen and try to move ahead but feel the weight of all you don’t know dragging you down, it’s tomorrow that you’re hearing, if you let go and let it in. It’s today that stands in your way. It’s worry that you throw in your own path to “soften” the impact.
Step out of those shadows with me. (more…)
Tags: Anna DeStefano, anna’s world, balance, creativity & inspiration, equilibrium, Families, family, family drama, fighters, heroes, hope, inspiration, Love on Mimosa Lane, Mimosa Lane, Montlake Romance, poetry, promise, relationships, Seasons of the Heart Series, Three Days on Mimosa Lane, tribbles, Women’s Fiction, writer, writer resource
Posted in Anna's Soul of the Matter, How You Write, Publishing Isn't for Sissies | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 7th, 2013
You wait, a storm’s chaos beyond your night window. The long summer, an overly-warm fall, cling fiercely. A thunderstorm in October.
It feels like forever, as if there will always be more. Steamy humidity. Suffocating. Like moving through warm water that never cools. You long for the fierceness to break, for the dark storm, this weary season, to pass.
You do not expect such glory.
Morning rises. Trees rain drops of watery sunlight. Leaves chant with each sway of limb and breeze. It’s safe. Come out. Play. You inhale, and you know.
It’s because of the storm, this beauty.
Trust the long nights. The chaos.
Morning magic comes in its own time.
Embrace the rain beyond the window, the storm within. When change is ready for you, step into that glorious opening. Live. And begin the wait again.
Tags: Anna DeStefano, anna’s world, balance, creativity & inspiration, equilibrium, Families, family, family drama, fighters, heroes, hope, inspiration, Love on Mimosa Lane, Mimosa Lane, Montlake Romance, poetry, promise, relationships, Seasons of the Heart Series, Three Days on Mimosa Lane, tribbles, Women’s Fiction, writer, writer resource
Posted in Anna's Soul of the Matter | No Comments »
Wednesday, August 7th, 2013
I’ve just taken a week off. To be honest, I need more time away. Does that sound familiar–the lure of distance and silence and being still? Haven’t we all lost ourselves somewhere like that–nowhere–a time or two?
We need more off-the-grid than our busy lives allow. But how much “down” is enough? When must “doing” become the goal again, even though we’ll never stop needing the opposite?
There’s something eternally good-feeling about the nothing of zero responsibility.
Yet we want to be productive, too. We build and we push and we create and we dream and bring to life. Whatever our jobs, we do them because we have ambition and drive and discipline. But within us is a deep well of silence, forever wanting. This quietness must be fed, for us to be healthy.
Nosier, bustling objectives reclaim our daily focus faster than any “breaking away” can outrun life. Yet an inner call for peace lies in wait, continuously biding time, ever demanding. It’s a tricky balance. And when we allow things to go off-kilter–say by taking a much-needed week away from everything–equilibrium can be a bitch to grapple back.
I’ve focused on one goal, an important one, for months now. It’s attained, and I couldn’t be prouder. But… What next? As I survey the overwhelming demand of everything that’s been put off–piles of “I’ll do that tomorrow, or next week, or next month…”–I look at what once seemed easily done later, and now I see daunting obstacles.
I explained this waking up to my husband, as being like watching Tribbles multiply.
You push aside just one or two things, to stay tuned into an important goal, to the exclusion of every distraction. When you next pick up your head, you find ten of the wee furry beasties lurking about. (more…)
Tags: Anna DeStefano, anna’s world, balance, creativity & inspiration, equilibrium, Families, family, family drama, fighters, heroes, hope, inspiration, Love on Mimosa Lane, Mimosa Lane, Montlake Romance, poetry, promise, relationships, Seasons of the Heart Series, Three Days on Mimosa Lane, tribbles, Women’s Fiction, writer, writer resource
Posted in Anna's Soul of the Matter | 3 Comments »