It was Dec. 29th of last year, and I was looking at what I knew was to come and deciding that changing the way I viewed the world (family, relationships, writing, creating, publishing, the whole gambit…) was going to happen in 2010, whether I wanted it to or not.
So, why fight the prevailing current? I figured I’d declare 2010 a season of revision, and see what I could make out of the ride, instead of grimly hanging on, fists clenched, and enduring. Time to take charge, take positive steps amidst the chaos, and take a leap of faith. And it was time to start blogging an “intentional” Revising a Year plan.
Little did I know, how wild the roller coaster before me would be. Or how nearly impossible it would be to keep up with recording everything that was happening as it happened (really, that was my plan out here), to keep working on the stories that feed both my career and my soul (really, not being able to write at all for large parts of this year left me spinning, without a center, in ways that showed me just how important my creative work is to all aspects of my life), and to merely stay in touch with the people and communities in my life (really, my immediate and extended families, writing and personal friends, writing communities, etc.–I know I’ve been more away than present this year, but my spirit’s been with you every step of the way).
I tried, fought, did my best. But circumstances kept spiraling until it all had to stop. To see what I mean, take a look at just a few blog posts back–from August! I just had to stop so much of what inspires and fuels and sustains me, so I could get to the next day. In short, it was hanging on, fists clenched, endurance time. That’s just how it had to be, until more was possible.
Lesson learned.
And of course, there’s a writing analogy in that lesson’s midst ;o) Which is:
We don’t always control revisions. Sometimes we just have to let the story tell itself, so we can make sense of that rough, sketchy draft once it’s done playing itself out. And THEN it will be time to revise.
And the story of 2010 for me was–I wasn’t nearly ready to take the reins.
The year was going to be what it was going to be, and my own plan for how to reshape “me” was going to have to wait until the dust settled. So here I am, 11 months later, FINALLY ready for lift off. Finally seeing clearly, the way I naively thought I was on New Year’s Eve. I’m finally strong enough to take on the task of making sense of all that’s happened and carving a new, better, brighter path going into 2011.
So many of you have kept in touch through emails and FB messages and calls and hugs now that I’m getting back into everything again. I wanted to say THANK YOU publicly. It’s meant so much to me
Over the next week, I’ll be updating this Revising a Year thread the way I’ve wanted to regularly all of 2010. And I’m keeping it going through 2011, because I’m realizing that now is really the beginning of the better things I was aching for last December. I’m blessed and lucky and filling up with the affirmations of the amazing things waiting in the wings for me to get back to full speed. Now that I’m there, I don’t want to miss a second of it.
And I want to share those new adventures with you–through the various threads I’ve already started, and a few new categories. Just check out the list in the right, find something you like, and dive in ;o)
My new Monthly Blog Contest kicks off in December, too, so check it out and join in the fun.
It’s so good to be back ;o)
Come out and play when you can!
Looking forward to wonderful and amazing adventures!
Congratulations on finally getting your life more like you wish it to be. I am having some of the same thoughts. I keep up with my email friends, but not with those who don’t have computers. I hope to do better this coming year. We also have a beautiful yellow Lab in our backyard and I have trouble finding time to go out and give him treats and play fetch with him. I just did so even though it is dark outside. I had to throw the toy where the outside lights were so he could find the object; but he loved having company and didn’t want to quit. There are a lot of little things that I did not do a good job of in 2010, but hope to do better on in 2011 and the best of luck to you in doing the same.
Welcome back!
Here’s hoping the New Year is great. Nice to start a New Year and get a fresh perspective on life.