If you’re following me on Facebook and Twitter, you’ll see a good bit of food come and go in my updates and tweets. I’m married to an Italian. And while we’re busy as all get out, sitting down to family dinner as many nights a week as possible is our goal. It’s important. It matters. And not just because in traditional Italian households, food is love. But because cooking is a relaxing, creative outlet for us, and so is watching our son fall in love with lots of different foods and a variety of recipes that don’t include chicken nuggets, hot dogs and mac & cheese (staples until just a few years ago). We’re watching him grow into the adult he’s going to be, and I wouldn’t miss that for the world.
Saturdays matter around here, too… Saturdays are about more creative relaxing (because none of us do sitting still well for long). More time together and leaving room for feeling lucky and grateful and inspired by what everyone’s accomplished during the week and what’s coming next. And for too long lately, I haven’t been taking part in the down time. It’s been almost more than I could manage to keep my head above water, let alone revel in the moment or the day or the wonder of a 13-year-old becoming a 14-year-old who will all too soon be 15. And I’ve missed that.
And not because some self-helper on TV said family time was important or because of patterns and routine’s my husband and I learned from our parents as kids that we think we HAVE to follow now or because that’s what the other families around us in our Stepfordville swim tennis community do. I’m not the gardening all day, lounge at the pool drinking all day, wash your car and then your driveway and then your gutters twice a month so everything looks like Pleasantville kind of suburban housewife. The picture of what we are to the outside world isn’t what matters to me. It’s the feel of what’s inside that I don’t want to miss out on. The strength of one moment leading to the next and showing me what’s good and real and solid around me, that’s what my Saturdays have been in the past and what I’m wanting from them again as I revise 2010 to be everything I need it to be.
For now, making Sartuday matter takes a bit more effort. That comes with chaos and loss and anxiety and demanding schedules, I guess. And even if all that wasn’t going on, I’m a writer and by nature we tend to be solitary, neurotic souls. It’s not so easy for folks like us to believe the effort it takes to relax will pay off. It doesn’t seem fair that we should have to work so hard at “normal” stuff.
But I am working hard, and I’m learning. Today, got to the gym early for a 4 mile run, watched my son’s tennis lesson, and I’m settling in with a cat in my lap to write my page count quota while the husband and the boy pick up some clay court matches at the club.
Then I’m going to finger paint with a new pasta recepie that looks amazing and leave it in the oven on warm for the teenager, so my husband and I can get out to the date night we cancelled last week because I had the flu.
A busy day that I had to drag myself out of bed to kick start… But it’s already feeling good, three destinations into my “spontaneous” Saturday. I have cool stuff to look forward to, once I shut the computer down in an hour or so and don’t let myself obsess about this story any more until tomorrow. I’m balancing instead of worrying about and postponing and regretting things I didn’t do or didn’t do well enough. And that matters…
This weekend my Saturday is like me–filled to brimming with many things that are important mostly to no one else but my family. Essential, small things that build me and the people I love up and encourage me to want more times when the current moment is more important than the next, and to make the people I share the time with the reason I’m there, not merely whatever we’re doing. At least that’s the me I want to be this year.
And that’s worth the effort it’s taking to make Saturdays like today happen. Days and weeks and months to build on, until 2010 is done. Time I won’t get back and refuse to miss out on. Experiences i need to share now and remember down the road. Stuff that doesn’t happen on its own so easily for me in this place and time. But I’ll do whatever it takes to show up and be present and relax, the way so many other people seem to be able to so effortlessly every Saturday. Because I want more of the good things that happen when me make the time to just be with each other. I want every Saturday like that, that I can get my hands on. And I want each one to matter.
Hey Anna,
Great post! I love to do a combo of writing/hit the word count and relax/refill the well on Saturdays and Sundays. Even when the words don’t feel like they’re flowing, I try to stay with it until it’s done, then play
Keep on blogging – hope to see you soon!
Elaine
Boy, I am glad I just ate before reading your blog. You would have starved me.
Enjoyed reading the comments. Saturdays for me are as a taxi driver taking kids to music lessons and athletic events. whew and then I get some time to myself (of course, that’s to go grocery shopping). Sundays are really the day we spend with the kiddoes. When I really get time to myself, I read.
so true Anna; taking the time to see what is happening in your own world and to savor the moments is such an integral part of your life.
I love to see that your family enjoys cooking. I don’t care for it any more. Everyone eats something different and at different times.
With four children and all of their activities, it can be a challenge to eat dinner together, but I try to make sure we do it as often as possible…usually we manage to squeeze in at least four nights a week. It’s so very important to sit down as a family and hear about everyone days and all of their adventures. That’s one of the things I’m going to miss the most when they are all grown and gone…Guess I’ll have to invite them to dinner often!!