Anna DeStefano's Blog

I LOVE the Internet for all the wonderful things it makes accessible to my writing, reading, social and personal life. As a self-employed writer in a very solitary profession (commercial fiction and, when the job’s right, nonfiction), the Information Superhighway is a miracle that allows introverted, often-allergic-to-the-insanity-of-the-outside-world’s-manic-pace me to be a more well-rounded, reachable person. The writers and readers and colleagues and potential clients I can now network with WHILE I’m chained to my computer and work-in-progress is an amazing thing I never take for granted.

However…there are a few realities of my creative life (because I am first and foremost a publishing professional who makes a living trading on my passion to create) that I can never lose site of, no matter how essential the Internet is to my career and day-to-day business goals. I’m recording these realities and truths here, because writing truth down helps us remember what’s real. And there’s alwasy the hope that my ramblings might help other writers, readers and online friends who find themselves wondering if the “miraculous” things we now do online are sometimes interfering with our lives/work more than they’re improving them…

Truth 1:
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Just because the Internet makes contacting others possible around the clock, doesn’t mean focusing outside my physical “world” should be my first goal every time I turn on my computer/smart phone(yes, I have data line Internet now, wherever my iPhone’s 3G network will allow me).

This may at first seem deceptively logical–well, of course, the writing and the work have to be my primary focus! Except, this blog alone is proof that a good bit of my writing and work now is done online, on the Internet, thus allowing me to reach outside my books to a world of readers who are finding their content via blogs and social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. But…how can I manage my online goals in addition to my larger projects, which can only be completed with hours and hours of uninterrupted work?

Reality 1–I must have daily goals firmly in place for the tangible work I do BEFORE connecting with the virtual world outside my office. This doesn’t have to mean completing all my writing for the day first, before reaching out to the Cybersphere. But, writing what my editor is expecting to see on or before deadline has to remain my focus. It has to be what gets that first hit of creative energy every day. No matter the value of the contacts and networking and promotion and inspiration available to me online, if I don’t meet my daily page goals, none of the rest will matter before long, because I’ll stop selling books!

So, every day, I start with the Internet turned off and accomplish my first-pass writing goal(s) before I turn on the wireless router and shout “Hello!” to the miracle beyond my office window.

Truth 2:
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Just because the Internet offers an unlimited view of the world and the people living in it, doesn’t mean I can afford to limit my experience of the world and the way others live it to what I see online. I store this truth in the “deceptively seductive” column ;o) Again, I work alone most of the time and am comfortable with my solitude and company, or I’d never have made it this far as a professional writer. Then, enter something amazing like Internet search engines and sites and conversations with faceless folks from all over the world who I can reach out to any time of the day or night (and, lets assume for the sake of argument, that I don’t work OR sleep normal hours), and it would be very easy for me to start to believe I don’t need anything more to be fulfilled creatively, than to access to whatever or whomever I can find online. 

But…I’m an artist who has to do more than see and hear what and whom my computer shows me, especially since that same computer is systematically sucking up every ounce of creativity I posess. If the Internet comprised the bulk of my world view, before long I’d start avoiding my computer the way I often find myself avoiding real-world experiences when I’m on deadline. The goal, it would seem, would be the artist’s age-old quest for balance, so I don’t feel the need run and hide from anyone or anything in order to create.

Reality 2–I must maintain daily goals for doing things off line and outside my office. Is it easier to research a topic online than at the library? Yes, perhaps. But there’s more to going to the library, or leaving my house, than just getting information. I need to feel and breathe life in. My soul needs to watch the world flowing around me in more than two dimensions. My cry for companionship won’t be sated without frequent interaction with people beyond my keyboard and computer screen. Living is what I know and learn and experience by accident, while I’m on the way to searching for and finding the answers to the questions that sustain me. Tweeting or updating or statusing or whatever it is I’m doing online are great additions to the tangible relationships in my life. But I need to BE a dynamic human being, too, not just a consumer of the facts and experiences that other people record and discuss online.

You wouldn’t think something this simple would require a daily goal to be remembered, but you’d be surprised how often I’ve looked down as my son’s bus pulls to the curb and realized I’m still in my pajamas and haven’t left my office all day, except for when I needed a fresh Diet Coke ;o)

Truth 3:
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Just because the Internet makes connecting with work relationships faster and access to me easier for my publishing partners and colleagues, doesn’t mean it’s good for me to be instantly available to the outside world whenever someone pings me.This is a hard one. A boundary I’ve had to set more and more firmly as I’ve added new publishers to my growing professional resume and have networked with a more active group of publishing colleagues. Sometimes the response has been less than positive. Hence, the title of this post–which is what someone gasped at me at the RWA National Conference last week.  But I accepted a little over a year ago that I was disabling myself and my ability to meet my writing obligations when I made responding to online requests for my attention a non-stop priority. It’s only common courtesy, I was thinking (because it’s what I’d been taught since childhood), that when someone talks to you or needs something, you at least acknowledge them and respond back. 

But… responding (even if it’s merely to say I can’t respond right now because I’m on deadline, and I’m always on deadline), pulls me out of my work, and it can often be painful/impossible for me to fall back into the creative place I just left. It’s taken me years to get my family to understand this–that my brain doesn’t work the same way as other people’s, because I have this insane, creative need to dissociate into other worlds and other characters outside my own reality. Break that trance too many times, and I’ll be out of a job, and is that what you really want? You might imagine, the response from family who think that because I work at home I’m always there to chat or help, hasn’t always been positive, but they’re all on board now. Why hadn’t I set the same limits on my professional communications?

Reality 3–I must set regular work hours (for typical work periods) and irregular work hours (for times when I’m staring down a deadline), that are email/status/tweet/blog RESPONSE-free. People are free to contact me, but my response will be delayed until I come up for air and my mind is freed from the character/plot I’m painting in my work-in-progress. This could mean a solid block of time each day or a week where I’m not available at all unless I’m taking a break. Or even making it clear that I can’t be responsible for following an online group conversation over a period of several days–a short time frame that may seem inconsequential to others, but for me could mean the difference between a killer ending to my story or a mediocre one, because I just couldn’t stay grounded in the scene.

And it’s my job to communicate these boundaries. Clearly. As often as needed. It’s my job to stick to them, so others see me being consistent and learn to follow the rhythm I need. I’m the one, after all, who’s responsible for the result if I don’t find a way to get my work done.“But what if something’s really important and an immediate answer is needed?” someone once asked me. I assure you, as I did her, that anyone who needed an instant answer from me were there to be a crisis has a number where I can be reached (and a business email address that I do at least scan daily). Beyond that, I can only hope my valuable online friendships and contacts and those following my content will understand my need for bouts of solitude and separation. And, interestingly enough, most have. Because, as it turns out, I’m as important to them as they are to me, and they want for me the same success that I hope for them. What a lovely reality to stumble across…

So… Truths and realities can sometimes be our way to over-think and over-restrict ourselves. We can even hold ourselves back, with too many limits and not enough spontaneity. Living life and writing stories and revelling in new ways to build relationships that sustain our creativity shouldn’t be silenced too often by the cold flip of a wireless switch or the clicking shut of an email inbox. But sometimes, the noise of our Internet miracles needs to be muffled just a bit. Slowed when needed, so the pace works for us rather than against us. Re-tooled, allowing us to breathe. So when we return, our online lives are once more a joyous escape and adventure, rather than an endless, exhausting treadmill we never seem to be able to escape.

What you  need to be creative and successful in your life is real. It’s uniquely you. How you shape your physical and virtual realities to help you get what you need and reach your goals is your choice. Your decision. Thank you for sharing a bit of that life with me… Now get back to whatever’s waiting for you beyond your own keyboard ;o)

Tags: writing articles

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 21st, 2009 at 6:49 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.