Anna DeStefano’s Blog

I’ve been thinking a lot about the gifts that experience gives us –when we look back from the other side of hard work and FINALLY understand what it’s all been about. Why doesn’t time just man up every now and then, and whisper what we’re about to learn into our ear, so we can relax while it’s happening? I’m guessing because then we wouldn’t “learn nothin’” while life does it’s spinning out of control thing.

Relaxing amidst chaos is one of my “revising” goals for this year.  As you might guess, chilling can be hard for me. When something’s important enough, and the war is difficult enough that I can only see the day-to-day battles rather than the finish line, things can get a little sticky.

Finding the solution to every problem was a given when I was in school. Easing off on the overracting was simpler then.  And all I had to do was study and work hard and trust that I’d get to the core of every challenge. As long as I didn’t get so frustrated that I self-destructed, as long as I was patient, I’d eventually graduate to a new world where I could finally start my life. Wouldn’t it be nice if the battles we fought beyond school were that straight forward?

Well, exactly who said they weren’t? Read the rest of this entry »

If you’re following me on Facebook and Twitter, you’ll see a good bit of food come and go in my updates and tweets. I’m married to an Italian. And while we’re busy as all get out, sitting down to family dinner as many nights a week as possible is our goal. It’s important. It matters. And not just because in traditional Italian households, food is love. But because cooking is a relaxing, creative outlet for us, and so is watching our son fall in love with lots of different foods and a variety of recipes that don’t include chicken nuggets, hot dogs and mac & cheese (staples until just a few years ago). We’re watching him grow into the adult he’s going to be, and I wouldn’t miss that for the world.

Saturdays matter around here, too… Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, so I disappeared–with purpose–again.

 Dorchester’s pushing for a Nov. release for Secret Legacy, even though I had to take two months off from writing for health reasons and extended my draft deadline. Which meant that my editor needed an early version of the first act or so of the story to begin working with (they’re saying something about a special promotion for the release, which sounds really exciting, but I have no details so, no sure what that means). Which meant, I had to stop forward momentum crafting the second half of the story to go back and revise the beginning. And revise. And revise… And since my blog for the  moment is “Revising a Year,” let me just say again that revision in life and in story is about searching for meaning.

I’ve learned a lot from writing and living over the last few years, but never more than I have the last month or so. Challenge and adversity and unending kindness and generosity, encapsulated and showered on you when you least expect it and need it most, will do that to you. So, I wake up the morning after our second snow storm in less than a month (very unusual for north Georgia) feeling March like it is January.

The new beginning I’ve been expecting is finally here, maybe because I’m back to a place where I can see forward (and backwards) and not just survive through this minute and the next. It’s almost spring, and I don’t really remember much of the coldest part of the winter. It was too difficult a time. Too much of a survive or fade away time. And I’m finally well enough for that not to be enough… Read the rest of this entry »

Focus and feelings… They have a lot to do with things, when your trade is creating imaginary people and places and lives. I’ve made a career out of both fiction and non-fiction, and the biggest difference I’ve discovered between the two has been how deeply the way that I’m feeling affects my focus on my work.

I’ve often discussed with my agent how much easier it is for me to “plug in” to a non-fiction project on the fly, especially during those times when my heart and soul can’t beat in time with whatever make believe fictional world I’m painting.  It’s been good for me the last five years to have a balance, between teaching and writing to teach and even some ghost writing gigs, and my fiction work. The last couple of years have been crazy. Both halves of my writing “business” have taken off like gang busters, sometimes too quickly at entirely the wrong times, but I was in no position to complain and never did (except sometimes to my friends, when I was sure no one else was listening). This is the third and, hopefully, last career change I’ll make in my life, and I’m a girl who embraces being thankful and grateful and working her butt off while opportunity’s striking.

So, now, here I am, writing for two fiction publishers, expanding two different series of my own creation, travelling when asked to speak to groups who think I have something to teach them about writing, even getting paid for the privilege more often than not now, and pitching my first non-fiction writing project to an interested publisher. A great start to this new chapter in my life, five years out from my first publishing “call.” Time to settle into a quick and productive routine that both the creative and analytical sides of my brain clearly thrive on, right?

Except… Isn’t it interesting, that it’s often when we expect to feel most settled and productive, that life decides to shake things up, just to make sure we’re paying attention. To show us that quick isn’t always the way, even when we’ve finally proven to ourselves that we’re more than capable of excelling at meeting even the toughest deadlines. And to remind us that productive means so much more than mastering whatever routine we’re so sure defines all that we can be. Sometimes, it just comes down t how you’re feeling… Read the rest of this entry »

“Eternal Now” is a phrase I’ve heard repeatedly lately. In a lot of different contexts. But mostly, I think the gist is supposed to be that we live in an “always” society “everything, all the time” (to quote the Eagles), so live it up!

There are always reruns of our favorite obscure TV series.There’s always TVo and On Demand and DVD collections with directors cuts and bonus features. You don’t have to buy the album, because every song, in every variation, is just an iTunes click away. You can order up your next book, or every book you want, in any format under the sun without ever stepping foot in a bookstore–all you need is an electronic reader and the 3G connection available at most fast food joints now.

There are quicker ways every day to lose weight, or work out easier and smarter.Drive faster, freed from the drag of having to figure out where you’re going before you get going, because there’s an app that will get you door to door with no effort at all. You can meet the mate of your dreams without having to look, just answer a few questions and wait for your dream come true to scroll onto your computer screen. You can be who you’ve always wanted to be, just follow ten simple steps. The world’s at our fingertips. All now. All the time. And we haven’t even touched on self help mantras and financial must-jump-on schemes, like melt down your old gold and buy your neighbor’s foreclosed dream home while the  markets tapped out.

But is that really now? Or more to the point, is it really what we want to be tomorrow? Read the rest of this entry »